Q: Hi Susan, I’ve been with my partner for almost 10 years and he always had this “thing” to go rude and slowly increasing, until I would shout at him. And that would stop him, and he would be kind again for a few months. I have a girl, she’s almost six, I take care of her full time and work part-time (I’m self employed). I pay 40% of the bills. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing. I’m always “wrong,” “lazy,” “selfish,” “I don’t contribute” – that’s what he tells me.
Lately he’s been increasing his outbursts, becoming resentful, angry, aggressive, withdrawn. Last week he hit our daughter with his elbow very aggressively because she woke him. It was 9 p.m., and I lost it and I hit his back. I don’t remember what I said. He tried to blame her. When I attempt a conversation he blames me because we don’t have enough money.
What question can I ask to change this or end this without drama? What else is possible here that I’m not seeing?
