Q: Hi Susan, thank you for the chance to ask a question. Trying to be quick here it is: I have a “toxic mother’ and have tried to cut all ties. She keeps sending letters saying she misses me, loves me, has never meant any harm etc. I know that when I let her back in my life, there will be control, insults, and more.
I have sent emails and letters to ask her to stay out of my life, but her partner destroys them before she can see them. I explain that I do not hate her, but for my happiness and mental health it is better if we have no contact. We do have nothing in common. Luckily she lives in Europe and I moved to Australia 30 yrs ago. I am fine when I do not hear from her, but when I get one of those letters I get quite uncomfortable and feel helpless and invaded. I moved and it took her a year, but she got a letter to me!
How do I just leave her be?
How many of us want to have that relationship morph into the same kind of relationship we used to have… rather than asking what else is possible and what choices are here for me to actually play with?
Q: “Hi Susan… I got divorced after 17 years and 3 children. I thought this was the end. I shortly thereafter was asked out by my best friend and the last 10 years have been superfab. With tools of access we have created a relationship that works for us… A very weird and unconventional relationship filled with fun and allowance…