Did you choose a toxic mother? | Susan Lazar Hart

Did you choose a toxic mother?


Did you choose a toxic mother?

Tue. 17 Jan 2017  |  Ask Susan

This week’s “Ask Susan” question comes to us from Australia.

Q: Hi Susan, thank you for the chance to ask a question. Trying to be quick here it is: I have a “toxic mother’ and have tried to cut all ties. She keeps sending letters saying she misses me, loves me, has never meant any harm etc. I know that when I let her back in my life, there will be control, insults, and more.

I have sent emails and letters to ask her to stay out of my life, but her partner destroys them before she can see them. I explain that I do not hate her, but for my happiness and mental health it is better if we have no contact. We do have nothing in common. Luckily she lives in Europe and I moved to Australia 30 yrs ago. I am fine when I do not hear from her, but when I get one of those letters I get quite uncomfortable and feel helpless and invaded. I moved and it took her a year, but she got a letter to me!

How do I just leave her be?

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